a list of funny things heard around the office over the years…
(most are of the “you had to be there” type)

• man, you’re bein such an ass
• ok, fine, be a martyr
• why you gotta count the calories, just don’t be a pnssy
• do you think Lance (Armstrong) ever says that?
• she and i were like fnck philly
• what the fnckover?
• piss me off again and i’ll come up w/ something better
• moneyball!
• the gift!
• for the win/loss!
• ur fncked now
• that’s who you’re gonna cover TO w/?! a girl?!
• how bout you show me now jackass
• hey, they got miller lite!
• fnck those fnckers
• this query is gonna take a while so you might wanna go take a sh!t or something
• hey ya know, you gotta spill some milk to make an omelette
• now is not a good time to learn, TELL HIM!
• whadda ya drinkin, milk?!
• so whaddu do now? write sh!tty specs & drink root beer?
• i don’t even want this job
• why don’t you just tell me what you want?!
• J: i assume intelligence - G: I assume idiocy
• microbes!
• you gotta have some intelligence for that
• i’m jacktose intollerant
• T: YOU’RE ATTITUDE SUCKS! - G: YOU’RE ATTITUDE SUCKS!
• T: then you recanted your statement. - G: Who did what?!
• these fools can’t even order lunch right
• i don’t understand SQL today
• i give up, i’m outta ideas
• wait a minute, what just happened?
• wait, what was I doing again?
• who cares about the economy, he’s a war hero!
• i’m not a smart man
• i’m pretty sure, every day i do or say somethin that’s over the line
• is that how you bought it?  all fncked up like that?
• that came from deep
• cuz ur an unsanitary diarrhea spewin mutha humpa